theank you for being amazing. You never fail to tie up loose ends. Thank you for kicking me upside the head with vortex every other fucking week.
Maybe someday I'll get the message.
PS Regan, expect beans and cheese soon.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
something about the summer
makes me mooooooooooody
One delightful night this summer I met Alicia at the BBox after she was done readi.ng cards and I was done with Spoon. We drank some beer, I met her band mate. BBox closed and we went to an undisclosed location for after hours, where more fun talking and juke box dancing happened. And then we decided that it was time to go to the pool.
This was in the middle of the horrible hot days when it was still 75 at night.
All the while blasting and singing along to Best Coast's Summer Mood on repeat.
The water was crazy warm - body temperature. Swimming back stroke laps naked and drunk while looking at the stars is a brilliantly satisfying activity.
Drunk synchronized diving is another.
My corresponding winter memory is driving home after Gypsy with Duby in the beginning of the blizzard - I don't remember what we were listening to - but a 15 minute drive took 45 frightening and frustrating minutes. We had some wine at the house and watched the snow then decided to go to BBox dance party.
It is fun to go out the first night of a big storm, everyone is giddy. We made snow angels in the 2 ft of snow in the yard and took our soaking selves out on the dance floor.
There are some funny correlations here that have just occurred to me. I won't get into them. The BBox isn't really one of them, it is just close to my house.
What a long strange year it's been.
I've met so many excellent people. I'm continuing to meet awesome people.
I sometimes think about my shy days. My shy, insecure, arrogant days. I just expected people to not like me. Because for most of my pre-collegiate days that was the case. Eventually it dawned on me that actually, people do like me. And so I got over it.
There is a girl in my section of the nursing program that brings me back to those days. She looks at me like I'm a freak, she rolls her eyes and makes little comments. It's irritating.
I tell myself that it's her own insecurity. And it is, I know. And part of it is the same thing that I run into a lot in Pittsburgh. I just look different. Weird. And we all know I don't look that odd anymore! And the reaction is to snicker.
She's the only one I really get it from - my campaign of friendliness and charm is winning over some people who may have been inclined to fall into that sort of behavior.
So, I worry somewhat about a sort of reaction from my peers and colleagues down the line. Makes me want to high tail it back west asap!
But that's not happening anytime soon, and I know that if I don't fully invest myself in my time here and now that I will be not just cheating myself of the time and experience, but also what. I'm not sure how to say it.
Paying attention. In my rather loose idea of how one should live spiritually in the world - the most important thing is to pay attention to the now. And let the future sort itself out. One thing I've learned over the years is that the future will sort itself out if you take care getting to it.
I guess that boils down to yoga-y mindfulness.
Wheew! Ok, I have to go study and I didn't even get to any food. Again!
Every time I eat St. Andree I think of Jaqueline and Work of Art. And Jayson. And now Alyssa too.
So much meaning in the world. It makes me happy.
One delightful night this summer I met Alicia at the BBox after she was done readi.ng cards and I was done with Spoon. We drank some beer, I met her band mate. BBox closed and we went to an undisclosed location for after hours, where more fun talking and juke box dancing happened. And then we decided that it was time to go to the pool.
This was in the middle of the horrible hot days when it was still 75 at night.
All the while blasting and singing along to Best Coast's Summer Mood on repeat.
The water was crazy warm - body temperature. Swimming back stroke laps naked and drunk while looking at the stars is a brilliantly satisfying activity.
Drunk synchronized diving is another.
My corresponding winter memory is driving home after Gypsy with Duby in the beginning of the blizzard - I don't remember what we were listening to - but a 15 minute drive took 45 frightening and frustrating minutes. We had some wine at the house and watched the snow then decided to go to BBox dance party.
It is fun to go out the first night of a big storm, everyone is giddy. We made snow angels in the 2 ft of snow in the yard and took our soaking selves out on the dance floor.
There are some funny correlations here that have just occurred to me. I won't get into them. The BBox isn't really one of them, it is just close to my house.
What a long strange year it's been.
I've met so many excellent people. I'm continuing to meet awesome people.
I sometimes think about my shy days. My shy, insecure, arrogant days. I just expected people to not like me. Because for most of my pre-collegiate days that was the case. Eventually it dawned on me that actually, people do like me. And so I got over it.
There is a girl in my section of the nursing program that brings me back to those days. She looks at me like I'm a freak, she rolls her eyes and makes little comments. It's irritating.
I tell myself that it's her own insecurity. And it is, I know. And part of it is the same thing that I run into a lot in Pittsburgh. I just look different. Weird. And we all know I don't look that odd anymore! And the reaction is to snicker.
She's the only one I really get it from - my campaign of friendliness and charm is winning over some people who may have been inclined to fall into that sort of behavior.
So, I worry somewhat about a sort of reaction from my peers and colleagues down the line. Makes me want to high tail it back west asap!
But that's not happening anytime soon, and I know that if I don't fully invest myself in my time here and now that I will be not just cheating myself of the time and experience, but also what. I'm not sure how to say it.
Paying attention. In my rather loose idea of how one should live spiritually in the world - the most important thing is to pay attention to the now. And let the future sort itself out. One thing I've learned over the years is that the future will sort itself out if you take care getting to it.
I guess that boils down to yoga-y mindfulness.
Wheew! Ok, I have to go study and I didn't even get to any food. Again!
Every time I eat St. Andree I think of Jaqueline and Work of Art. And Jayson. And now Alyssa too.
So much meaning in the world. It makes me happy.
Monday, September 06, 2010
How is it noon already?
Good afternoon! It has cooled off here and I have slept so well and late the past three days. Just a quick note before I go off to Jack and Judy's for lunch and laundry - what is with all the helicopters this weekend? Is shades of the G20 for reals.
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