Is a variety of prepared condiments the answer?

I've been having this problem with food lately - I don't eat and I don't eat because even though I'm hungry, the thought of the chewing and swallowing and tasting makes me kind of ill. Eventually I eat whatever it is that is around because I am so hungry that I can't think straight.

For instance, the other night, after a visit to Easy Street Records (snowpony! brainiac! kristin hersh!) I mosied across the street to the Metropolitan Market and wandered around picking things up and putting them down. And picking them up, and putting them down. Looking at all the hot soups, and then looking at all eight of them again.

Because the other part of this not eating is that I am so tired that I can't be bothered to cook. And believe me, I know that there is no excuse for this - I know that it takes just as much energy to cook up some pasta and saute some veggies as it does to purchase nutritionally less significant food. But christ. Do you know how tired I am of pasta?

I am so tired of pasta that I don't even eat it at work and it's free. And fresh and housemade and absolutely delicious. Can. Not. Do. It.

so I end up eating things like chicken curry soup and a samosa and grocery store sushi. And a really nice peach.

The peach was happy and local and tasted delicious. Texturally, it was a little bit strange. The skin was thick. I honestly can't remember if this is a feature of peaches and perhaps one of the many reasons that I prefer nectarines.

And the other night, what I like to think of as "Katrin's dinner," as per our telephone conversation -

Katrin's Dinner

Goat Cheese (dizzyingly delicious Cypress Grove)
Crackers (melba toast, sesame)
Wine, usually white (chateau st michelle sauv. blanc)

I added an apple because I am kind of a freak about fruits and vegetables. Although she probably had a fruit as well, if I know Regan and food. And I like to fancy that I rather do. I am going to guess grapes.

and while this is a perfectly lovely dinner it is not a dinner that warms the soul and salves the brain. Like say, stuffed eggplants and a nice rice pilaf and a little salad. mmmm. that sounds delightful, actually. Maybe someday I will feel the desire to cook again.

Which brings me to the header of this here post - so, even assuming that I get it together to cook something that will require no effort to prepare for consumption at a later date - I can say without a doubt that no matter how lovely, I will be bored with the flavor. And thus, totally uninterested in eating it, and it will just go bad. Which will make me sad and feel like a bad human being.

And if I make condiments - they go bad before I finish them. So, do I buy a variety of prepared condiments and slop whatever strikes my fancy on my roasted veggies?

Or my turkey sandwhich or whatever. Here is a problem I run into at the grocery store - I feel guilty buying meat. But I have no problem, say, buying a turkey sandwich.

This is a problem that extends its octopus arms into all areas of my life.

Good luck today to Lionel and Katrin. Much love.